This is a simple practice of checking in with all members of your family–whether there are two of you, whether you live in the same place, for all ages. By Sally Thomas, The Wondering Together Project: A Simple Tool For These Hard Times, from Building Faith.
Make Time
Carve out about 10 minutes each day. Gather in a place and a way that fits into your life (at a table, on a daily walk, getting ready for bed, driving to school). Try to use the same space and time of day once you find what works well for you all. Have the wondering questions printed.
Make Space
Set aside any digital distractions so that these ten minutes together are peaceful, and you can really listen to each other. Some families light a candle, dim the lights, or do something else to make this short time together feel special, but you don’t have to!
One family member asks the first question. If it works, take turns leading the questions each day, as it underscores the agency of each household member, especially the youngest.
Ask Each Other The Wondering Questions
- “I wonder what part of today you liked the best?” Some may have just a word or two to share while others may tell a short story. Just listen to one another. Everyone always has the right to pass.
- When everyone has answered the first question, the second one is asked: “I wonder what part of today was the most important part?” Allow everyone to answer with a phrase or a short story.
- Then go onto the third question, “I wonder when you felt most alive today?” (An alternate question for families with younger children might be “I wonder when you had the most energy today?”)
- The fourth question, “I wonder what part of today you would have liked to leave out?” This may feel like a challenging question for some. By ritually asking it, we normalize and model how to talk about the hard things we encounter each day.
- The last question is, “I wonder how you are feeling in this moment?”
End In Gratitude
When all have finished answering the fifth question, close your Wondering Together time by thanking one another. You could bow to each other silently, high five each other, blow out a candle if you lit one, or share a hug. One family closed with a ceremonial “dab!”